dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
