I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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