i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
