where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
