About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
