Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
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I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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