I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
