whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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