All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
