so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
