someone get that fucking seahorse.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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