the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
