i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
