What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
