I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
