I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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