the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
