is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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