People with herpes should wear stickers.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
