I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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