She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
