Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
