I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
