Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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