We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
