Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
