Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
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He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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