Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
