i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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