so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
should my penis look like a turkey
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
