Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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