If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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