he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
