Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
