Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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