You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
