Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
