Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
