Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
