just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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