Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
