Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
