We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
