It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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