that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
