Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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