3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
