ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry about my life...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
