weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
