I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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