I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
