haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
