so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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