All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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