You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
