Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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