sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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