my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Who died my cat blue again?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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