how can u be prego again
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
